Everyone in life has drama, trials and tribulations. Things can go majorly wrong in relationships. Every relationship, from a marriage, a family relationship, a friendship, a co-worker, etc. need work.
One of the biggest problem people have is they feel like they shouldn't have to apologize because the relationship shouldn't be "this hard". I will let you in on a secret that would help you.....ALL RELATIONSHIPS NEED A LITTLE WORK.
Each person in the situation has an issue, even when you discuss the issue and hash it out, it takes both parties to make an effort to change or forgive.
1. There is a difference between forgiving someone and allowing them to be in your life, and forgiving them, and moving on with your life without them. That is ok. At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for your life, your soul. What makes your soul feel clean.
Sometimes, we forgive others not for them, but for yourself. The weight of the issue is too heavy to carry. They may not deserve forgiveness but you deserve PEACE,
2. If you choose to forgive someone, you can't revisit the issue at hand over and over again. Once you have forgiven them, let the issue go. It will be a relief on you.
3. When you forgive someone, make sure you are open to hear the other persons issues with you. Be open minded to your own faults.
I have forgiven family members and let go of what they have done to me in my past. But they didn't make it to my next chapter in my life. For my children, I didn't need them to be subjected to the type of person my mother is. I have forgiven her, but I did it for me. Not her.
Forgiveness is used in all different ways. I let that one go when my co-worker ate my lunch, I accepted an apology when my friend decided to cut me down and bash me in front of "her" friends., I have forgiven old grudges. Forgiveness also has a lot to do with growth as a person.
I hope that I am able to help someone with my words of wisdom.
I am by far not a master of forgiveness. But there are many kind. Do not feel guilted into forgiving someone before you are ready to, because then anything else that happens will be right back from where you started.
I will tell you that my mother hasn't actively in my life for 10 years. She divorced her ex husband and had a nervous breakdown. In the process, she blamed me for certain things. At the time I was already starting my family. My son was a year old, my husband and I were building a house. The normal family life I always wanted. I was unable to handle her breakdowns and antics. I stopped calling to check in on her, she stopped calling to complain. That began the downward spiral.
When we did talk she told me I abandoned her in her time of need. First off, I was 22 years old, she was 40. Abandon was a strong word for me.. When I was 4, she left my younger brother and I on a doorstep to my grandparents house. If they didn't want us, child services could have us.
She later fought for visitation for me, but not for Brad. There was a chance she would have never seen us again if things took a turn she couldn't have foreseen that.
My forgiveness for her and her actions are with conditions. I forgive my mother, but she isn't an active part in my life. I will say Hello to her if I see her. But too many things have gone on for me to allow her to see my children in the capacity she would like.
Just a little glimpse into my life <3
One of the biggest problem people have is they feel like they shouldn't have to apologize because the relationship shouldn't be "this hard". I will let you in on a secret that would help you.....ALL RELATIONSHIPS NEED A LITTLE WORK.
Each person in the situation has an issue, even when you discuss the issue and hash it out, it takes both parties to make an effort to change or forgive.
1. There is a difference between forgiving someone and allowing them to be in your life, and forgiving them, and moving on with your life without them. That is ok. At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for your life, your soul. What makes your soul feel clean.
Sometimes, we forgive others not for them, but for yourself. The weight of the issue is too heavy to carry. They may not deserve forgiveness but you deserve PEACE,
2. If you choose to forgive someone, you can't revisit the issue at hand over and over again. Once you have forgiven them, let the issue go. It will be a relief on you.
3. When you forgive someone, make sure you are open to hear the other persons issues with you. Be open minded to your own faults.
I have forgiven family members and let go of what they have done to me in my past. But they didn't make it to my next chapter in my life. For my children, I didn't need them to be subjected to the type of person my mother is. I have forgiven her, but I did it for me. Not her.
Forgiveness is used in all different ways. I let that one go when my co-worker ate my lunch, I accepted an apology when my friend decided to cut me down and bash me in front of "her" friends., I have forgiven old grudges. Forgiveness also has a lot to do with growth as a person.
I hope that I am able to help someone with my words of wisdom.
I am by far not a master of forgiveness. But there are many kind. Do not feel guilted into forgiving someone before you are ready to, because then anything else that happens will be right back from where you started.
I will tell you that my mother hasn't actively in my life for 10 years. She divorced her ex husband and had a nervous breakdown. In the process, she blamed me for certain things. At the time I was already starting my family. My son was a year old, my husband and I were building a house. The normal family life I always wanted. I was unable to handle her breakdowns and antics. I stopped calling to check in on her, she stopped calling to complain. That began the downward spiral.
When we did talk she told me I abandoned her in her time of need. First off, I was 22 years old, she was 40. Abandon was a strong word for me.. When I was 4, she left my younger brother and I on a doorstep to my grandparents house. If they didn't want us, child services could have us.
She later fought for visitation for me, but not for Brad. There was a chance she would have never seen us again if things took a turn she couldn't have foreseen that.
My forgiveness for her and her actions are with conditions. I forgive my mother, but she isn't an active part in my life. I will say Hello to her if I see her. But too many things have gone on for me to allow her to see my children in the capacity she would like.
Just a little glimpse into my life <3